Dear Rachel Ray,

On a rainy, icky, disgusting Monday morning, the last thing I need to see if a life-sized poster of you informing me that Dunkin' Donuts is "quick 'n delish."

Thanks to lifelong indoctrination starting from birth, three-quarters of New England are already addicted to this and this. And we all know the reason for this and the coming-soon SoBe Coolatta is world domination.

So, gowainow and get the fuck away from my Dunkin'. Bitch.

Kthanxbai,

Moi



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